He never said that the cross would not be heavy...
He never promised victory without a fight.

it's been a really long time since i last blogged, really wrote something...something straight forward. at natutuwa ako nung nagsearch ako ng old articles. parang history repeats itself. only now, its different kasi parang ito na ang last of all the repetitions. this would be my last sem in up, in college. grabe, kiniclaim ko na na ako ay gragraduate. haha. :)

it feels weird. this week, i have 5 (or 6?) exams left, and a major paper. kakaiba lang yung feeling na ito na ang last stroke.. at pinapahirapan pa nila kami. haha. joke lang. ang senti lang na these are the last exams that i would be taking, ang the last paper i would be making in college. and its not even a psych paper. haha. 

acads aside (haha, i always put them aside). im missing the sunrise and the sunset, seriously. nagpapasalamat ako sa Lord for the stars every night since last week pa ata or two weeks ago. Seems like He knows i need them. one million stars falling from the sky. im missing the trees, and children. i know im moving on from a lot of things, pero somehow you can't help but feel na there's a part of you being left behind. because there is. and im not even sure of if i want it left behind. unavoidable ba yun? i sound like ranting. writing my thoughts without even thinking if its proper to put them into words. haha.

..realization: there's still the need to fight, be wounded..and learn. but its easier to fight the battle knowing its already won. you just have to reminded yourself of that. because when the swords starts clashing and shields break and your strength fails you, its hard to see a victorious end. i have to remind myself that.

ang scattered ko. pero sa friday pa ako magkakaron ng time to pick myself up. sana wala pang nawawalang pieces of me, or baka may mga naapakan na. haha. nakaisip ako ngayon lang ng music video concept out of that. wee. :)

i dont really know if im happy, maybe. or maybe i just have no time to think or feel if i am. why is there time? why can't we have our own time, difeerent among ourselves? why is life always bounded by the concept of time? its not even tangible, it doesn't even feel anything..no joy, no pain, no regret, no victory. sometimes, its stupid to asko those type of questions, knowing that everyone, even yourself has a ready answer for it. i dont know.

i really miss hanging around with kids. surrendering my armor, resting from the battle..to eat ice cream.